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Heard a good one lately?

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A Priest, a Rabbi and a basketball player go into a bar.

The bartender says "Is this a joke"?
How can you tell when you've had too much to drink?

When you go to wipe something off your shoulder and it's the floor
How do you keep an idiot in suspense?



A Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were in Mexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees. The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.
The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada that was absolutely 'impeccable' (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ). The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge.
The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked the so-called 'impeccable' tree almost without breaking a sweat.

Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck the Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods was right, when he said, your pecker gets harder when you're away from home.
This test can predict your all time most watched film.!!

Try it without looking at the answers. It really works!

Pick a number from 1 - 9.
Multiply by 3.
Add 3.
Then multiply by 3 again.

You will get your answer by adding the two digits together to find your all time favorite movie.

Good Luck !!

Your all time most watched movie is:

1. Gone with the wind.

2. Aliens.

3. Oliver

4. Star Wars

5. Forrest Gump.

6. Saving Private Ryan.

7. Jaws.

8. Grease.

9. The Joy of Sex with Male Goats

10. Mary Poppins.
A father asked his 10-year old son if he knew about the birds and the bees.

'I don't want to know,' the child said, bursting into tears.. 'Promise me you won't tell me.'

Confused, the father asked what was wrong.

The boy sobbed, 'When I was six, I got the 'There's no Easter Bunny' speech

At seven, I got the 'There's no Tooth Fairy' speech.

When I was eight, you hit me with the 'There's no Santa' speech.

If you're going to tell me that grown-ups don't really shag, I'll have nothing left to live for.'


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